am i 19??

ok look..
semua benda yang nak kte wat mst ada plan..
plan A or B and etc..

so my plan is..
I WANT GO OUT CATCH UP SOME MOVIES OUT THERE!!
AND HANG OUT WITH MY FRIENDS!! wohooo!!
and kadang2 sume plan xmnjdi sbb ade halangan
SO DO I!!
when it comes like that
MAKE ME HATE TO PLAN!!
but smetime halangan tuh xdek sbnarnye
tp dr sndri n masalah dalaman yg mnjdi halangan
SO I REALLY CONFUSED RITE NOW!
COULD U IMAGINE WHAT I THINKING RITE NOW??..
shit! hate to be like that ^ acc

and sometime masalah dalaman nih influence dr org luar
means mcm PARENTS! or not in MOOD???..
BUT FOR ME THE OBSTACLE IS MY PARENTS!
CAN I JUST DO WHATEVER I WANT WITHOUT ANY REASONS??
or just let me do whatever i want
B'COUSE AM 19 LA!!
AM GROWING UP..
I NOE WHICH ONE IS BAD OR GOOD FOR ME
EITHER TO THEM ALSO??
AND YOU SHOULD TRUST ME!

but sometime all those thing ^ there are not
the big mess acc
but FOR ME IT IS!
B'COS THEY DOESN'T TRUST ME..
and ^ make me thinking
AM I GROW UP??...
and
AM I 19??

(p/s : of cos not! am 18 lg la..huh?? confused!)

flash back..

even kte dah ade kat mne kte skrang nih still lagi perasaan x puas hati tu ada...
why ea??...
in my mind got two bisikan yg always remind me the memory or the gambaran of future..

in 1st case :
i blame my parents sbb i xdpt achieve what i want which is i nak go through on matriculation but not in medical field..
but then i hv to sacrifice my dream accuatally
follow their advice sbb they think it is the best for me
their reasons to me to stop matriculation is in future u mmg ssh nak dpt ur dream job cos yelah in future who know rite?
and my father said that yang die dah bersara so not enough money nak carry me out till uni
lgpun bawah i got many sister n brother to go..
so mean i willing go through to medical field bcos of my siblings yg still schooling lg
so nak jadi kan cerita
a couples week ago i recieve call from USM
they ask me psal result matrix but then i told yg i half way only
then i tnye la blk why call me??...
then he said that they just only want to remind about fasa 2 of UPU
and then they also told yg based on my result for the 1st sem
I LAYAK MSUK USM
so..what u think??...
if i x pegi study kat KTMP i myb dah prepare pg USM amik chemical engineering
i dah ade degree..yg pentg i dpt what i dream..
but it totally wrong..
its vice versa..

the 2nd case :
i forgot all about chemical n myb just go on with medical lab
the result is okay but
my father, he never puas apa yg telah i dpt
everything!!
dari atas hingga ke bawah...
dari dalam hingga ke luar..
he never!
and that was made me very kecewa n sedih sgt2
i dah buat yang terbaik
and i think i patut dpt satu pujian..
so i just forget it because he is my father
x dek guna klu dok bertekak je kan..
so just let it go..
myb ade hikmah

3rd case :
i rse i dah buat yang terbaik dlm hidup i
i ikut ckp my parents
yeah! just follow
they want me to do this
i do..
they want i go anywhre
i go..
but then i think i already 19
so i can do whatever i want
n i can go wherever i want
but i still TERKONGKONG
i got my own money means my own salary
so it's up to me nak buat apa with MY MONEY
i bought a NIKON D3000
for me!..

p/s : myb i dah penat ngan semua nih..so the solution is i just follw them bcos they are my parents..

list to do!

result : 3.45 alhamdulillah lepas...

i'm going home this weekend : 27.05.2010 petang...

serabut memikirkan masa depan (blah la! F**K)

love my self..

duk kat cni aku da start to be myself...
i could fine my self..
wah!
mst pelik kan..
actually living here i learn something
yang mmg x pnah aku jumpe..
such as :
1) memasak! haha aku dah pndai memasak..ari tuh aku masak bayam! yeah!
2) i learn BIOLOGI MANUSIA..n actually i gonna LIKE it! huhu yelah time f4 n f5 i HATE that subject..huhu but now nop really it's FUN!
3) i learn about FRIENDSHIP...persahabatn yg terbina antara kteorg dkat cni mmg diff dr yg pnah aku jalinkan sblum..full of memory n perangai actually yg pling pntg la...
sbb mcm2 kerenah aku jmpe...but i still love them..xkire buruk mcm mne pun n xkire baik mcm mne pun i still LOVE them so MUCH! xOxO
4) here i learn to be a MUSLIM sbb ade one phrase ni dlm satu buku says' :

'Klu kite nak jadi baik kite kne thu define BAIK tuh apa?

beriman dengan allah tuh 'baik' &

BERIMAN dengan allah tuh mcm mne??

amar ma'aruf nahi mungkar

means buat apa yang disuruh dan tinggal apa yg dilarang'

'hince selagi ada benda yang blum settle tu nmanya blum baik lg la..'

contoh

'klu seorang PEREMPUAN tu pakai TUDUNG tapi TAK solat, BELUM cukup BAIK'

'same goes when SOLAT cukup BUT TAK PAKAI TUDUNG'

and

also same goes to GUYS, even baca ALQURAN but tiap-tiap hari MAIN BOLA tapi NAMPAK KEPALA LUTUT,

or

SOLAT tapi duk BERPEGANG TANGAN ANAK DARA ORANG.. tuh pun belum cukup BAIK lagi'

ssb

ALLAH dah kata ya ayyuhallazina aamanudkhulu fissilmi kaaffah. (al-baqarah-208)

mksudnye

mksuklah kmu ke dlm ISLAM sepenuhnya dan JANGAN ikut SYAITAN kerana dia MUSUH yang nyata'

maknanya

tak boleh la nak practise islam tu secara Juz'ie.

selagi tak embrace ISLAM tu penuh, tak cukup BAIK la kiranya..

so from there i made a conclusion that...they are many things that should we do so that kite jadi BAIK...means thee 4th lesson is I learn to be BAIK as a MUSLIM should do...

it's not only depend on our IMAN but ur SINCERITY to ALLAH n ur BELIEVE to ALLAH..

5) being a MUSLIM yang BAIK i learn to LOVE myself!

p/s : Insya-ALLAH

make it short and simple...just say it loud!!..yeah!

just say it loud!!!...

what ever u want..want ever u need!

never give up!..yeah!!..



ari aku rse semangat skit..

even men bola tmpar kalah..

but atleast i learned something..

which is = teamwork @ kerjasama..

apa yg PENTING??? KERJASAMA..hahah



life is full of mystery..

we have to discover by our self..

if not..

it will disappear n go away further

we have to catch it..

we should work it out..

make a good work based on

ur sincerity..

ur ability..

ur past n mistake..

cause it will guide us..



however..

friends also helps us...

they will land their

hand ;

ear ;

eye;

shoulder;

just to make the friendship

jot down all the memory

Let jot down all the memory..

from Februari 2010 untill March 2010.

Being a MLT ..

it is lot of memory, lot of joy, lot of friends!

let me introduce one by one..

this is Syafiqah @ Ciqah @ Ben10

this is Hidayah n Ain @ my rOomate

geng2 org tua except me n ciqah,
from left abg wan, beto, bad(pling tggi)

ini adalah org pling tua @ Harith Najmi @ abg long kami

n this is all the memory yg smpat di ambil spnjg kteorg kat cni...

from left Mellissa, Me, Pah, Ciqah (down), Maryam, Akak

Pah, Ayu n Me
from left

i'd really beatiful moment with u,

thanks 4 being my friends..

friends till end...untill the last breath still on..

p/s : hope the memory will last 4ever...

new life

hidup semula aku kat KL..huhu
mmg dah lme aku tggalkan tp
nak wat mcm mne dah jodoh aku kat cni...
having fun + fuya-fuya + STUDY
3 thn aku kan duk kat cni..
blaja..blaja..blaja..
blaja apa?? ha! tuh la yg kte nak tahu..hahah

kos yg diambil : Diploma Teknologi Makmal Perubatan
dgn kte yg len Medical LAb Technology..(glamour skit nme..)
tempat : Kolej Teknologi Makmal Perubatan Kuala Lumpur
lokasi (terperinci) : sblah HKL n dkat ngan Jln Chow Kit..
so tiap2 hari aku lpak chow kit..mencuci mata..hahah

and unfotunately my hostel
sgtla jauh..blakang IJN so pk la sndiri brapa jauh..hahha
so far al soo goood..heheh
n way..
mmg ok la duk cni..xdek la tension sgt mcm kat matrik
but i'm still miss my lovely frends there...

and disini aku still mencari hala tuju n mengharap kan keajaiban berlaku
walaupun IMPOSIBLE..huhu...
thinking n hoping

gOoD byE!

now i'm living KMPk...
n Going to SPA...
sedeh2 sgt2...
huhuh..
pergi meninggalkan tmpat idaman n impian aku
tuk kecapi impian yg aku idami..
tp demi keluarga n masa dpn aku sndiri jgak...
aku terpaksa melgkah pergi...
huahuahuahua....
(ayat jiwang siot!!...huhuh)

nway the story today is...
aku kepenatan..
sbb menguruskan jadah2 nih...
huahua..
tp skrang aku mndpt 3 akaun bank hahahah
terase cam kaya jap...
1. maybank (enth ok ke x..mcm dah K.O je..)
2. BSN (duit elaun matrik aku)
3. CIMBislamic (elaun SPA..bakal menjelma...hahah)
so mmg penat..nak cte pun..
biase2 aje..biase la nak menguruskan
perjanjian la..apa la...
so ok2 n dokie2 aja...
tp ttp sedeh...
bye2 my friends at KMPk..

finally...

even ati aku ini berbelah bagi
n even hati aku ni x rela...
aku redha je la...
mmg ini takdir aku...xleh nak wat pape da...
tp demi kluarga
demi masa depan kluarga
demi adik2 aku
demi masa depan aku...

aku harap keputusan aku ini dpt
menggemberikan hati semua pihak
walau aku terseksa...aku harap sgt2..
huhuh...mst korg pelik
apa la yg aku merepek..hahaha
actually aku akn berenti matrik
n smbung amik
DIPLOMA JURETEKNOLOGI MAKMAL PERUBATAN
under KEMENTERIAN KESIHATAN MALAYSIA
or jga dikenali sbgai SPA
aku akan bergerak dan melaporkan diri pada 1.01.10
tarikh keramat yg amat menyedihkan...
mmg aku sedih..
tp nak wat mcm mne utk parents gak
hidup nih kene ade berkat gak...
klu xde x mashyuk!!...huhu

anyway..aku berterima kasih kat kwn2 aku...
walaupun dieorng menyokong parents aku
tp dierog bg semangat kat aku...
aku happy thanks beb!..
aku syg gle2 kat korang...
syira thanks sbb sudi dgar luahan hati aku..
olie time kasih byk2 sbb support aku
sme gak ngan ecah...
epul pun sma...aku terharu sgt kat korg...
yg jauh tuh aku doakan smoga berjaya...

n utk bff aku kat KMPk..
aku mintak maaf byk2
sbb aku xbgtau korg lg...
aku mntak maaf byk2
sbb aku xdpt nak habiskan sem kte sma2 ngan korg..
aku mintak maaf dowh...
aku mst rindu gle kat korg...
terutamanye...

ika...
aku mst rindu nak dgar ko ckp penan heheheh
nak men bola tmpar nagn ko..nak cerita ngan ko..
nak rebut roti ngan ko..
then ble aku dah xdek nnt ko, ika jgn lpe igt aku slalu..
mkn roti n burger hong kong jgn lpe aku..
thanks byk2 sbb teman aku sggup melayan kerenah aku yg gle2 nih..
n ble men rubic jgn lpe igt aku...
n jgn lpe kenangan kte mse nyanyi lgu lme2 pas kelas mlm (kelas miss chew)
di bwh sinaran neon lmpu jln..hahahah mmg kenangan...

leya..
aku mst rindu suare speaker ko...
mmg xdek org la yg bleh melatah constant just sebut MATI
aku mst rindu dgar ko merepek n merengek n dgar cte klakar ko..
then nnt ble aku dah xdek jgn rindu aku tau...
jge la kamil leklok hahaha..n termasuk balak2 ko yg len...
jgn lpe kawin mesti ajak aku...
n jgn lpe ko mst berbaik ngan super...
ko ckp la leklok ngan die apa yg ko xpuas ati
apa yg ko x ske...jgn pendam dowh..
xsyok majuk sorg2...hehehehe
demi aku ko kne wat...

azah..
roomate terbaik aku...
mst rindu ko menjerit...ko gelak
ko ngan Wan Yee Bergadoh....hehehe
nnt ble aku dah xdek ko jgn bgun lmbat..jgn mls nak mandi..
siap2 nak gi kelas tuh cpt skit tau...hahahaha..
maintain lawa ea..n jgn lpe krim slm kat idan @ syuib heheheh..

superSYERA...
kwn gle2 aku yg terbaik...
aku mst rindu ko merepek..wat lawak..
perangai ko agk gle dr aku..heheheh
nnt ble aku dah xdek ko jge la leya ea..
ko berbaik la ngan die...
ko ckp la elok2 ngan die...
jgn emo2 lg ea...demi aku ko kene bek ngan die...

Yap Wan Yee...
my bibi..hehehehe also my roomate..
don't forget me ea...ur nenek heheh
i gonna miss u so much...
i love ur singing...
i love u n miss u sooo muuuccchhhh!!
bila saya dah pergi jaga katil saya elok-elok
jangan lupa makan nanti ken marah...huhu
miss u bibi...

last skali..
tuk my beloved family...
nurul mohon maaf
sbb mgkin nurul dah terguriskan hati
my moms n ayah..
sorry for everything..
tuk abang..
thanks sbb support nurul..
byk bg nasihat kat nurul..guide nurul
insyaallah nurul akan smbung smpai degree
n insyaallah nurul akan belajar bersungguh2
demi kluarga nurul korban kan...
demi kasih dan syg nurul pada kluarga nurul sanggup korbnkan
demi adik2 yg nurul syg sgt2
nurul sanggup korbankan
masa, tenaga, cita-cita, impian dan harapan nurul
semua nye khas untuk mak ayah dan adik-adik

new day new hope..

result pun dah kluar..
thanks god aku dpt 3.57.. aku dah cbe yg terbaik..n tulah keputusn nye...
thansk so much n alhamdullilah..
klu di round off kan aku dpt 3.6...hahah..ok dokie la...
mmg dil luar jgkaan aku tp alhamdulillah..
aku bersyukur sgt2...

so stick to my original plan..
if dpt pointer above 3.5 or 3.0
aku akan stay kat matrik dan menghiraukan
UiTM n also SPA
but u know my dad and mums wanted me to go there..
huh...tp kate hati TAKNAK! huh
nak stay kat matrik n smbung dlm Degree Chemcial Engineering...
n xtau nak amik u kat mne cos now still thinking nak amik u mne..
upu x isi lg nih..huhuhu..pening2..
pening2 ditmbh plak dgn penimbunan gunung everest di atas meja
kerja2 yg blum siap...huhu
mne xsiap satu hari berjalan skn (sabtu-12/12)
hehehe...dah dpt elaun pe lg..
shopping skn le...
aku beli kasut,jam,purse,spek
n all are in white!!..
SHMART!!! hahah..sorry la ika ea..
aku tertiru style ko...
actually xdek warne yg sessuai n lwa time tuh..huhu
tension mnecari brg specially kasut!..damn! ponat!
then aku just mkn2 n tgok wyg..cite 'storm worriors'
thanks leiya kerana memilih tjuk cerita chinese yg mmg 'best'
huhu..kengantukan dowh...hahha
bak kata super..'tertido beb!!'

within these month aku xleh blik sbb karnival sukan tuh
n the last week = new year nye cuti...aku xkn blik
sbb next week nye nak exam UPS!!
wahaha..takut sgt...x abis lg cover chapter awal2
PHYSIC...
CHEMISTRY...(pling tkut!!)
MATHEMATICs..(cuak kot..ssh)
huhuh....n skrang aku tgah merajinkan diri
wat yg terbaik...all the best!!! chayok2!!..Gambate!

and skrang jgak aku tgah menyepikan diri dr member2 aku..
bkn sengaje tp utuk perancgn...huahuahua...
hrap maaf ye kwn2...
nak online pun jrg dah..sbar2 ye kwn2..huhuh
n las skali...aku stil LONELY RANGER right now...

p/s : tearing apart..hlovate